


Slugs, Ferrets and Goats

by Kate1013



Series: I Distinctly Remember... [3]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Banter, F/M, Gen, Humor, Romance, Team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-16
Updated: 2010-08-16
Packaged: 2017-10-22 05:16:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/234244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate1013/pseuds/Kate1013





	Slugs, Ferrets and Goats

"So if Daniel is Luke, Jack is Han and Sam is Leia, then who does that make you?" Mark couldn't tell if Teal'c was glaring at him or simply giving him his usual expression of 'raised eyebrow, tilted head'.

Fortunately Jack entered the kitchen and simply stared at them, breaking the man's spell. Shaking his head and muttering something unintelligible, Jack bypassed the two Star Wars fans and headed for the fridge.

"O'Neill does not agree with my reasoning," Teal'c announced, glancing from said friend to Sam's brother.

"You don't like being compared to Han Solo, huh?" Mark asked.

"Oh, it's not _that,_ " Jack declared. He pulled some bottles of beer out of the fridge and handed a couple to each of them. "I just don't think Daniel's much of a Skywalker..." He said, heading out into the back yard, the other two in tow.

"Hey!" Daniel cried, the tail end of their conversation filtering into the crowd outside.

"Daniel," Jack sighed. "It's not as though we haven't had this discussion before..." He, Teal'c and Mark plonked themselves down at the bench next to Daniel and passed around the beers.

"Still..." Daniel waved his hand in the air in some half hearted gesture. Jack simply smirked back at him. "Like you're really like Han Solo anyway..."

"Ohh, I don't know, there was that one time he wore that fetching white shirt and black vest..." Sam stated after grabbing one of the bottles and swallowing down a mouthful of beer.

Ignoring the smirks passing between the two, Daniel frowned. "I don't recall you wearing anything like that..."

"We were stuck off base for a week, when our transportation had broken down," Sam added. "You were in the infirmary with appendicitis."

"Ah yes..."

"What about the freezing incident in Antarctica?" Teal'c inquired.

"As in, like when Han got frozen in carbonite?" Mark asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

"Well..." Sam butted in before something classified could escape. "Something like that... I guess..."

"See, Daniel," Jack tilted the head of his bottle at the man across from him. "That's two more reasons than you..."

"Three." Everyone immediately glanced at Cam. The man simply shrugged, before stating, "He got the girl... Everyone knows about the little dance Han and Leia do throughout the galaxy... The General and Sam here had their own version..."

"So..." Vala drew out the word, long and slow. "That means that Jack here is all dressed up in his white shirt and black waistcoat, while Sam is-"

Cam raised his hand in the air for her to stop. "Don't say it!"

"What? About the-"

"Don't!"

"Well why not?" Vala crossed her arms and huffed.

"Every guy has, at some point in their life had some fantasy about that particular scene, and if you go talking about someone you know either wearing it or whatever, it will _spoil_ it... for _all_ of us..."

"Except maybe Jack," Daniel added.

Cam nodded. "Except maybe Jack."

Vala looked across the faces of all the men at the table. All but one had a serious look on their face, as if daring her to continue.

The frown on Sam's face gradually morphed into a smile once she caught the look on Jack's face. She kicked him under the table before he could escape into a world of his own.

"So... that's three..." Jack hid his grin with a mouthful of beer.

"Why _were_ you wearing those clothes anyway?" Daniel suddenly asked.

"I was on my way home when we got recalled," Jack said, his defences getting up. "Anyway, why are you so hung up on my _clothes?_ Carter came back with curly hair and Teal'c had a slug glued to his chin!"

"Slug?" Vala screwed up her nose is disgust. "Isn't that-"

"One of those small slimy creatures that come out of the ground when it rains, yes," Cameron supplied for her.

"Ew!"

"I don't think he meant a real slug," Mark butted in.

"I thought it was more like a ferret," Daniel added. "What?" He shrugged when everyone turned to him with either a raised eyebrow or puzzled expression. "They're kind of long, furry and blonde..."

"Please tell me we're talking about a goatee?" Cam groaned.

"Goats?" Vala cried.

"Not a real goat," Mark supplied for her.

"A fake one?" Vala innocently replied. "Why would anyone want to put a slug, ferret or a goat on their chin? Fake or otherwise."

"He means a beard, Vala," Sam said, coming to the other woman's rescue.

"Oh... I don't understand why you people feel the need to confuse everybody else with supplying what you really mean with the names of random animals..."

"I concur..." Teal'c added, nodding his head alongside Vala's.

The table paused while Daniel, his lips poised to speak, cocked his head to one side, gesturing at Teal'c.

"Don't even think about it," Jack warned before the other man could utter a word. He took a gulp of beer before glaring at Daniel sitting opposite him.

"How do you even know what I was going to say?"

"You were about to go off on a tirade about the English language, Daniel..." Jack sighed. "You do that a _lot_... of _course_ I knew what you were going to say."

Daniel merely frowned, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to quickly think of a retort.

"O'Neill is correct, Daniel Jackson..."

Daniel's mouth closed with a snap, his frown deepening as the smirk on Jack's face got bigger and Teal'c stony gaze stared back at him.

"Do they always do this?" Mark whispered, leaning into his sister's side.

"What's that?" Sam murmured back.

"Pick on each other."

A smile crept upon her lips "Uh-hu," Sam nodded. "Constantly..."

"And it doesn't bug you?" Mark asked innocently.

Sam shrugged. "Sometimes, maybe... Does it bug you?" she asked, as she turned to study him.

Mark mimicked her gesture, his shoulders bouncing up and down, smile teasing his lips. "Actually, no... They kinda amuse me..."

Sam's smiled turned into a full blown grin, a chuckle escaping her lips and she shook her head turning back to the table.

"What?" Mark nudged her shoulder with his own.

"That's what I used to think..."

"Used to?"

"Until she realised that Jack liked her laughing at his jokes," Daniel butted in, his body following his head as he leaned into their space. "Then she tried her utmost not to, just to piss him off..."

Mark simply grinned. "And now?"

"Now?" Daniel's glasses rose with his eyebrows. "Now, I don't even bother getting involved..."

Mark chuckled and shook his head.

"Thanks Daniel," he heard Sam mutter.

"My pleasure, Sam..."

"Yeah well, it won't be later..."


End file.
